Spiral Patterns
by Ijemanja
Summary: A one night stand, and everything after. CameronCuddy


Notes: This is a series of short pieces written to word prompts provided in a livejournal challenge. It's Cameron/Cuddy, with shades of Cameron/House and Cuddy/House too.

Title: Spiral Patterns

Author: Ijemanja

o

_i. club_

The crowd is made up of hospital people mostly, familiar and not-so-familiar. And she could have any of them, she thinks, full of cocktails and confidence.

Any of them, that is, except one. But he's not even here, and she crosses his name off her mental list.

She leans against the bar, sips her drink, watches. It's been one of those days, and she deserves this, she tells herself, and makes her choice.

There's an empty glass sitting on the bar nearby and she places her own down next to it.

'Dr Cuddy,' she says, 'Can I get you another?'

o

_ii. taste_

Cameron is all big eyes and bravado, laughing low and intimate as she leans into Cuddy's personal space, not-so-casually touching her arm.

Were Cuddy entirely sober herself, she might think about the ethical implications of this. She might think of the inevitable awkwardness of the morning after.

She might think: 'God help me if House ever found out.'

She might think: 'Cameron is drunk.'

And pull herself together and offer to call her a cab.

But as Cameron licks sugar from the rim of her glass and smiles, all Cuddy can think of are things sweet and warm and wet.

o

_iii. not enough_

Later, they'll think about how they looked around for watching eyes before slipping out the door like two thieves in the night. In the cold light of day they'll think about appearances, and acting normal, and how best to guard this dirty little secret.

None of this occurs to them now, though.

They can't get from the taxi up to the house fast enough. Cuddy laughs as she fumbles with her keys, abandons them, presses Cameron into the door frame. Her hand travels up Cameron's thigh, and Cameron never wears a skirt but she wishes she had just this once.

o

_iv. too much_

It's almost too much, this, Cuddy's mouth between her breasts, Cuddy's hand between her thighs.

It's been a while, almost too long, and the fingers inside her stretch and burn just a little. Cuddy isn't gentle, but that isn't what she wants anyway.

This is: soft curves and smooth limbs. Clutching Cuddy's arm and leaving marks behind, probably, where she presses too hard. Small strong hands holding her down and bruises too maybe, there on her hip, and crying out and coming with that almost-too-rough touch just right and it's almost, almost too much.

And all she wants is more.

o

_v. colourless_

Cameron leaves the hall light on and the door ajar when she returns from the bathroom, illuminating the bedroom with a low light. Cuddy rolls over and lifts her head to squint at the clock.

'God I need to get some sleep,' she says, rubbing her eyes.

Cameron stands in the middle of the room, hesitating for a moment. When she starts to look around for the rest of her clothes, though, Cuddy speaks up. Her face is pressed back into the pillow and the words come out slightly muffled.

'Don't feel like you have to go,' she says.

Because it's not as if she's kicking her out. Though she's not exactly asking her to stay, either. It's two a.m. and she's sober and that's further than she's willing to go.

'You don't mind?'

There's a hint of relief on Cameron's face as she takes a step towards the bed, and Cuddy feels sorry for the girl. She doesn't know her well, but she gets the impression that sometimes Cameron is just a little too desperate, a little bit pathetic. This isn't the Cameron, confident and seductive, who picked her up so effortlessly at the bar earlier. Nor the Cameron, drunk and impatient, who pressed her into the mattress and laughed as she dragged Cuddy's nipple between her teeth.

This Cameron looks washed out and colourless and just a little sad as she stands there in her underwear in the half-light, her face drawn and tired, most of her makeup gone.

Of course, she mustn't look much better herself, she realises.

So: 'No, I don't mind,' she says.

The mattress dips, then, as Cameron slides back under the covers. She closes her eyes and sighs, blinking at Cuddy with a tiny smile, slightly rueful, on her lips. And even with her face pale and hair limp there's something about her, Cuddy thinks. Something she doesn't blame House for wanting, something she doesn't blame herself for taking. Even if it is just this once, even if it turns out not to be the smartest thing she's ever done.

'I warn you, though,' she adds, 'I'm not a cuddler.'

Because her thoughts were getting a bit too serious for two a.m., and because a little humour can only help in a situation like this. And Cameron seems to agree with her, because those lips twist wryly now.

'Neither am I,' she replies.

o

_vi. sunrise_

'This shouldn't be a problem,' Cuddy says.

Cameron thinks maybe Cuddy looks more confident than she really is. But then, Cuddy must be good at that - in her job, it must practically be her default setting.

She agrees anyway - no, not a problem. She sips the water she washed the aspirin down with and thinks that she doesn't want to be like Cuddy. It isn't hero worship that brought her here, though she hasn't yet figured out what did.

Maybe it's because she watches her take on House every day, and rather than seeing something she wants to be, she just sees something she wants. Something she could take for herself if she tried.

Maybe, she thinks, it was something like that.

She swallows some more water and her head pounds. It's too early for this.

Cuddy gives her a sympathetic smile and points out the phone before she goes to take a shower, leaving Cameron alone in the kitchen, hung over and wearing yesterday's clothes.

It's early and the air is cold and damp as she opens the front door to watch for the cab. She wraps her arms around herself, shivering a little. It was much warmer inside.

o

_vii. touch_

'Dr Cuddy,' she says, inwardly cringing at the surprise she hears in her own voice, trying to control the deer-in-headlights look she suspects is taking over her expression.

'Dr Cameron, good morning.'

Cuddy makes it look easy - smiling, cool and collect. She greets the desk clerk in the same manner, collects a stack of files, signs a form that's thrust under her nose by a passing nurse, and she's on her way.

And Cameron knew it might be weird, coming into work Monday morning after sleeping with a colleague Friday night, but she quickly realises the real problem isn't going to be awkwardness. After all, they don't work together, barely interacting at all over the course of a normal day.

The real problem, she finds as she watches Cuddy walk off, is dispelling the images called up in her head.

In her pristine suit Cuddy is as put-together as always, attractive and professional, but Cameron can't quite stop seeing her as she was. So pretty, sitting with her legs crossed at the bar, leaning over her glass and playing with her straw. Casually sexy, rumpled first thing in the morning, her hair a mess, yawning as she shrugged on a robe. And gorgeous naked, that generous mouth open wide and her head thrown back.

Cameron can't stop recalling the press of Cuddy's body, the slide of her thigh between her legs. The light touch of Cuddy's hand on the back of her neck, the taste of her in her mouth.

o

_viii. who_

He goes straight to the coffee machine. He's late, but then, it is Monday morning. As he takes his first grateful sip, he realises he's being watched. When he looks over, Cameron quickly ducks her head. And she blushes.

Something's going on, he thinks.

It's guilt, he decides later, after giving it some thought. He wonders what she's been up to. Or rather, who.

He watches her with Chase, and quickly dismisses him as a candidate. He watches her with Foreman with slightly more interest, but nothing seems out of the ordinary there, either.

He doesn't bother considering someone outside of the hospital, because outside of the hospital Cameron has less of a life than he does. So he questions Wilson - not because he's a suspect, but because Wilson is a huge gossip whether he'll admit it or not.

But even Wilson doesn't know anything.

A few days later he's almost given up - or at least put the idea to the back of his mind for now - when he sees it.

Cameron's at the elevators. Cuddy walks up, presses the down button. They smile in acknowledgement, and share a few words as they wait. All perfectly normal.

But he knows.

o

_ix. shade_

'I think House might know,' Cameron says, looking away. 'I don't know how.'

It's a sunny day and they've found a place to sit in the shade, but Cuddy wishes she was wearing sunglasses anyway. More than that, though, she wishes she didn't have to have this conversation.

'It doesn't matter,' she says. 'How he found out, that is.' Though she can guess. 'If he knows, well, he never makes anything easy.'

'Yeah.'

She looks worried, but Cuddy reminds herself that it isn't her job to look after Cameron. If House knows, they'll no doubt both have to deal with him before long.

She sips her coffee. Cameron does the same. She looks uncomfortable, like she doesn't particularly want to be here either - her shoulders hunched over and her thumbnail nervously flicking at the cup's plastic lid.

She sighs. They should be able to talk about this. They're adults. Or that's the idea, anyway.

'I'll talk to House,' she says finally.

'I can handle him,' Cameron responds quickly, defensively.

Cuddy only just manages not to roll her eyes. There's a reason, she reminds herself, that she makes a habit of not letting herself be picked up by attractive younger co-workers. Of course it would help if she could remember that fact at more crucial moments - like when said co-worker is making eyes at her over her fourth or fifth cocktail of the night.

Cameron is young, though, and seems determined to act like it, but now Cuddy's caught up in this situation with her and they have to deal with it somehow.

So she puts on her most reassuring voice, and places her hand on Cameron's wrist, and tells her it'll be okay. Cameron looks up at her and there's something in her eyes. Maybe not belief, but it's something.

o

_x. sound_

A soft gasp. It's magnified though in the bathroom, the sound mingling with others: heavy breathing, the click of a high heel on tile, the shifting of material, all bouncing off the walls and coming back to their ears.

And if Cameron never imagined she'd be making out with her boss in a stall in the ladies room, she's not letting the lack of forethought hinder the experience.

She bites her lip as a hand slips down the front of her pants. Cuddy finds her clit and doesn't let up until Cameron's coming, her eyes squeezed shut and her lips pressed tight together so she won't make a sound.

Afterwards, she sucks Cuddy's fingers into her mouth, and then abandons them to draw Cuddy's lips back to hers again. She kisses Cuddy, switching positions so that it's the older woman pressed up against the side of the stall. She kisses her long and deep with their tongues sliding over and against each other, hot and good and just a little sloppy now.

She reaches down until she finds the hem of Cuddy's skirt and drags it up her thighs. The kiss ends then, and Cuddy watches her as she sinks to her knees.

Their eyes meet in the mirror later as they fix their hair and smooth their clothes. Cameron laughs a little, bending over to dust off her knees, because now that it's over it seems reckless and a little embarrassing and here they are, trying to erase any evidence that it ever happened. Like they're schoolgirls who cut class to smoke in the toilets.

Not that Cameron ever did anything like that in school.

There's a smile tugging at Cuddy's lips now too, and for a moment it looks like she'll say something, but then the door swings open and someone walks in. Cuddy turns to go without a word.

Cameron finishes checking her appearance, and goes back to work feeling flushed all over, like her skin is burning beneath her clothes. And she feels House's eyes on her, even though he can't possibly know what just happened. She was only gone for a little while, and when did he start timing her bathroom breaks, anyway?

But even under his all-seeing gaze she doesn't feel awkward. Self-aware, tingling still where Cuddy touched her, yes. But not awkward, not guilty or ashamed.

Which isn't what she expected at all.

o

_xi. he_

'Tell me you got it on video,' are the first words out of his mouth as he starts down the corridor beside her.

She looks at him askance. 'What?'

'So coy, Cuddy? I'm talking about you broadening Cameron's horizons.'

So apparently, she muses, House does know after all.

'House,' she begins, and then takes a deep breath to stall.

'The older, more experienced woman,' he starts up again in the interim, 'The ingénue all wide-eyed and willing. Bet she couldn't resist when that patented Cuddy come-on came at her like a freight train.'

_Well you would know_, she wants to retort, but stops herself because bringing _that_ up certainly isn't going to help the situation.

'I guess you know us both pretty well,' is all she says after a moment's pause. Because he's not getting any details out of her, no matter how much he fishes.

'I'm wondering, though, how the rumour mill around here is going to handle the juiciest hook-up of the year.'

He's watching her carefully to catch her reaction, enjoying this far too much, but that's something she can put up with.

'The rumour mill doesn't seem to have caught on yet,' she points out.

'It hasn't? Interesting,' he says, smirking at her.

Really, who is he going to tell anyway, she reasons, Wilson? Of course, he's probably already discussed it with Wilson at length. But Wilson isn't as much of a rumour-monger as some make him out to be. She isn't worried about Wilson.

'Look,' she says, rounding on him, 'I'm sorry if this bothers you, but it's really none of your business.'

'Who says it bothers me? I mean the mental images it conjures up alone...' He closes his eyes and makes a face like he's thinking really hard.

She tries not to be amused, but it's always difficult with him.

And she knows this is probably going to be all right. He can be cruel, and he could make things difficult for them if he wanted, but that doesn't seem to be the mood he's in. Not today, anyway.

'Besides,' he adds, 'I'm holding out for an invitation to join in.'

'Yeah, I'll get back to you on that,' she says, giving him the disapproving look she knows he expects.

'I'll keep my calendar open,' he calls after her as she walks away, shaking her head.

It's going to be okay, she thinks.

o

_xii. circle_

Despite everything that's happened, she's still surprised when Cameron shows up.

'You talked to House?' she says when Cuddy answers the door.

Cuddy can only imagine what he must have said to prompt this visit.

'He approached me about it, actually,' she replies, getting ready to rehash the whole encounter for Cameron's benefit.

Cameron shakes her head and brushes past her as she comes in.

'Are we -?' she begins, and then stops, turning to face her in the middle of the foyer. She shrugs helplessly. 'I don't even know what to call it.'

Cuddy closes the door and leans against it, looking at Cameron.

'So... This isn't really about House.'

It isn't a question, but Cameron answers anyway.

'No.'

'Good. Because it shouldn't be,' she says.

'Okay,' Cameron breathes out in a rush. 'Okay, good.'

It's just as well, Cuddy thinks, because she was really getting sick of dealing with this love triangle situation. One person at a time is enough.

'Let's sit down,' she offers, moving away from the door. 'Do you want some tea?'

'I'd love some,' Cameron replies, 'Later.'

And there's a smile growing on her face as she steps up close, her arms circling Cuddy's waist.

o

_xiii. strangers_

They're still strangers really. What do they know about each other, besides how each other kisses, how they fuck? Cuddy knows that sometimes Cameron likes it a little rough, Cameron knows what Cuddy sounds like when she comes, and that isn't nothing, but it isn't intimacy either. It isn't love.

But other knowledge starts to creep in, over time: how to fix the coffee in the morning. What products they'll find in the shower. Favourite foods and radio stations and which side of the bed.

It takes a while, but eventually Cuddy starts thinking of her as Allison - about the same time Cameron stops choking on Lisa.

Cameron learns that Cuddy makes the best pancakes and that she's played golf once a month since she was twenty-four, and that the perfect way to wake up in the morning is with Cuddy tracing lazy spirals on her back.

Cuddy learns that Cameron takes pilates on Saturday afternoons. That she's a widow. That she was never as in love with House as it seemed. And that she has better taste in music than she does in clothes or men.

And after a while, they're not so much strangers as the exact opposite.

o

end


End file.
